Life as a HOTELLO

People often ask me: how do you keep up with your agenda? I always simply answer: the way every Hotello does.

A Hotello must be a diplomat, a democrat, an autocrat, an acrobat and a doormat. He must have the ability to entertain prime ministers, princes of industry, pick-pockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists, popsies and prudes. He must be on both sides of the political fence and be able to jump that fence when needed.

He should be (or have been) a footballer, golfer, bowler, tennis Player, cricketer, darts player, sailor, pigeon fancier, motor racer and linguist, just like he must have a good knowledge of any other sport involving dice, cards, horse racing and billiards. This is useful, because he has to sometimes  settle arguments and squabbles. He must be a qualified boxer, wrestler, weight-Lifter, sprinter and a peacemaker.

He must always look immaculate, when drinking with the ladies and gentlemen mentioned before, as well as bankers, swankers, theatricals, commercial travellers and company representatives even though he has just made peace between any of the two, four, six or more of the aforementioned patrons.

To be successful, a Hotello must keep the bar full, the house full, the storeroom full, the wine cellar full, the customers full, and not get full himself.

He must have staff who are clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers, non-drinkers, mathematicians, technicians and at all times on the boss’ side, the customers’ side, and stay on the outside of the bar.

TO SUM IT UP: The Hotello must be outside, inside, offside, glorified, sanctified, crucified, stupefied, cross-eyed and if he’s not the strong silent type there’s always Ssuicide!

So now you know how we keep up! See you the 14th of January 2015 at the HotelloTOP Year Event!

 

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